I have been putting off writing this all day because I seem to be having a bit of writers block…but here we go. Part of my issue is that frankly, I am not a writer. I am a photographer, I am an artist, I am a wife and a mother-but I am just a “wanna-be” writer. One of the biggest things I struggle with when it comes to writing is trying to find the appropriate words to relay my thoughts and feelings when something is extremely meaningful to me. The task seems nearly impossible….so typically I do what a lot of people do-I just give up. Perfect example: Brett and I celebrated our 10 yr. anniversary in December….BUT I never blogged about it because I couldn’t even TRY to figure out where to begin??! I mean really?? So I didn’t even mention it and I know-It is so completely lame…..
Today I find myself in the same situation. I just did a shoot last week that was so very important to me, a big part being I know how important it is to my pal, Becky. Becky and I have been best friends since 9th grade. We are completely, totally, 100% the yin to the yang with one another. I was always the quiet one, she was the loud one….I was timid, she was outgoing…..I was a realist, she was a dreamer…I always made the plans, she went along with whatever I told her we were doing…..You get the idea. :) Becky has always been the one to push me out on the dance floor, make me wear the funky dress, and she always, always, ALWAYS sees the bright side of every situation. When I got pregnant with my 4th just a couple weeks after she announced her pregnancy with her 2nd child, we were both super excited!!! While she thought about all the exercising we would do together (remember-she is the dreamer??!), I was making meal charts, and assigning books for her to read. :) We had a blast, and our due dates were mid-late May of 2007, about 2-3 wks. apart.
In early April of 07 I got a call from Becky’s husband….something had gone very wrong. An ambulance had come and taken Becky to the hospital. Becky had a stroke. In the hospital they found that she had blood pressure that was dangerously high, for her and the baby. Even though she had a month and a half left, they began talking about taking the baby. The next few days were completely surreal. Just a week before we had been experiencing our happy pregnancies together, and now my dear friend lay in the hospital and we were not sure what was going on. Over the next few days were more strokes. There were Doctors, testing, theories, and the answer seemed to point to an underlying genetic disease being the cause. This realization was very painful but Becky handled it better than anyone possibly could. She put her faith in God. Finally things calmed down and she was stable. The doctors gave her the choice for her C-section of Saturday or Monday, and she choose Monday the 16th of April. Monday morning quickly arrived, and I set my alarm so that I could be on my knees in prayer during her surgery.
Little Adeline arrived at a whopping 4 lbs. :) She was precious as could be. She was tiny, but she was strong.
I went to see her the day she was born and then took the photos below when she was one day old. Becky didn’t get to see her as much as she wanted those first few days, and it was so painful knowing my friend wanted her child close, but couldn’t have her. It felt wrong that I could hold her, while Becky lay 2 rooms down. My heart was broken for my dear friend. I will never forget when I held Addy for the first time….I remember how tiny she was, and that the baby inside of my big belly kicked and kicked when I held Addy close. I just knew they would be friends. :)
Look how small and sweet she was…In the last photo they are trying to give her milk.
And NOW look at her!!!!
I’ve taken so many photos of this precious girl…so precious to all of us….but never as precious as she is to her Mama.
Beck, I hope you love these photos of your baby girl.
She is growing up right before our eyes.
Oh how I love those little lips!!!
Eyelashes, Eyelashes.
I LOVE her.
Beautiful smile. :)
We caught her Beck!
Girl likes to EAT!
She looks so innocent….but I promise people, it’s all an act…..she is her mother’s child. ;)
tongue.
getting SASSY.
ahhhhh…she makes me want a girl to put pink chucks on.
Picking Aunt Jesse’s flowers. :)
Happy birthday to my little buddy Addy!!! :) The Z family loves you so much, now and always!
Love you too Beck. You are the best Momma around, and I adore you for reasons I couldn’t begin to number.
~jess
jess
Artist, wife, mama of four.
Lover of life
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Balance
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Your words make me cry, Jess. You are an amazing person and I am so happy God put you in my life. Our Family is so lucky to have such wonderful friends by our side. A true, blue friend–that is my Jess. The pictures of Addy are beyond beautiful. I love them. Thank you. I can’t believe how incrediable these turned out. I know you are an out of this world photographer but my Addy so crazy. Priya- thanks for all your help(you are tops in my book)….wormfarm, thank you for the 15 minutes of torture you endured.
I could barely see the pics because my eyes are filled with tears! That was absolutely beautiful. Addy is gorgeous! Beck- you really are an amazing mama! Love you all!
what a precious post. addy truly is a gorgeous baby with all kinds of spunk! happy bday addy! and um jess, by the way, you do have a little girl who would L-O-V-E for you to dress her in pretty pink chucks!!!
these are wonderful….i love the processing on the sassy one…looks like it was taken decades ago! beautiful job :)
Your words made me cry, and I don’t even know this family. You are an amazing writer. Usually, when reading photographers’ blogs, I used to skip all of the writing and go straight for the pictures, but when I came across your blog (way back in the day), it made me realize that maybe the words are important–because yours always are. I really and truly think this post is beautiful. All of it. Every single word and image. And I think you’re beautiful, too.
What do you mean you are a ‘wanna be writer’? This post had me in tears. I would say you are not only an amazing photographer, but one heck of a writer! Happy Birthday to sweet Addy.
Oh Jess … you ruin me! When I read your words and remember the day I watched Becky being taken away in the ambulance and then look at the photos of the precious little gift God gave to our family, I stand in awe of him. Becky was his gift to me and now the babies are his gift to my girl … HE IS SO GOOD! Thank you for capturing this little Becky-replica for us! I’m hooked.
These pictures amazing…and so are your words :)
How precious….
What a beautiful post. I really see that it comes from the heart. These are wonderful pictures and I think every mother should have something so special of their children. You are awesome.
thanks for posting that story jess…i’m sending my love for becky, you and the birthday girl…
And you thought you weren’t a writer! I’m crying like a little baby…
Aww, how cute is she?? And i thought you wrote that all very well!
Jessica- that was so beautiful. I had seen pics of Becky and her kids on your website before, but I had no idea of the medical struggles she has had. What a miracle they both are! And what a perfect picture of the 2 of you. How blessed she is to have you as a friend. One can only hope that everyone can have a friendship like the 2 of you have. Again- your photography is breathtaking. You capture people in pictures and it makes us feel like we know them somehow. You have truly been blessed with an amazing God-given talent.
I remember first time seeing baby Addy in the hospital as if it was yesterday. Now she is 2 years old!!! Happy birthday Addy!
Pictures are great, Jesse! And the way you presented them with your words is just an icing on a cake! Some self-proclaimed writers who pop up everywehere like mushrooms after the rain should be very embarrased if they ever read your blog. Your work is just simply AMAZING!!!
You have me in tears over here! Beautiful post. Thanks for sharing.
You’re not a wanna-be writer…you ARE a writer! Just because it takes you a little longer to get your thoughts on paper/screen, doesn’t take away from the fact that you can write. The story is simply beautiful, and of course, so are the images. Adeline is just so sweet!
Ok, I’m sitting at work and started getting teary eyed. LOVE these. Jess – you did a great job. Becky and Troy- great genes, she is beautiful!
Ok, the tears are flowing… Beck- this brings back all the memories of the fear we felt during that scary time…look at you and Addy now!! God really is so good. I love you and think that you are an incredible, beautiful person – thru & thru.
Great post, Jess. Addy is one precious little girl! And, could she be any more of a spitting image of her mama??
i don’t think i can say how i feel…a truly amazing tribute to your friendship and ending with incredible pictures (art) of beautiful little ‘addy.’ blessings all around for sure.
you said it beautifully! she’s adorable!